I Hear You Calling Read online

  I hadn’t known this, of course, but it began to make sense of his over the top reaction to things.

  Janet took a sip of coffee and raised her eyes to mine.

  ‘He never used to be so angry. I know he feels a failure and this business with Richard makes him worse, he thinks he should be able to sort it all out.’

  I made appropriate noises, sensing that Janet needed to talk more than she needed feedback.

  ‘I really don’t know where Richard would go. He never goes anywhere without us except to school. I keep trying to tell myself he will be ok but then I think of all the mothers of all those kids who have ever been murdered. They probably told themselves it would be ok didn’t they? But it wasn’t, was it?’

  The ringing of the phone interrupted her and Janet leapt to her feet, frantically lifting the receiver and almost dropping it again in her haste.

  ‘Hello ……….oh, it’s you Tom, no Tom, no word yet……..No, I’m not alone, Rae is with me at the moment….OK, I will……….yes Tom, of course……thank you …bye.’

  She literally fell back into her chair and I could physically see the disappointment in her.

  ‘I’m sure you’ll hear something soon,’ I told her lamely.

  …………

  Chris answered the phone when I rang later that afternoon to see if there was any news. His clipped, concise way of speaking was gone now, his words were flat and kind of desperate.

  ‘The police are looking for him. They have asked us to stay here in case he returns.’

  I have a golden rule that I never give my personal mobile number out to anyone work related, but this time I didn’t hesitate.

  ‘Please will you ring me or send me a text message when you hear anything?”’

  ………………..

  Barney was sniffing out something interesting in the woodland undergrowth, his ample backside wiggling from side to side with the wagging of his tail. Finally he emerged in reverse looking extremely pleased with the rotting old bone he had discovered. ‘Drop it,’ I ordered, conscious of the green mould gathering around the knuckle end. As the dog dropped the bone and looked at me with a sorrowful gaze I heard a deep chuckle behind me.

  ‘He thinks you’re really mean now,’ Tom said stepping into my line of view. Barney immediately forgot his disappointment and pounced excitedly in the direction of Herman, Tom’s large German Shepherd dog.

  ‘Is there any news of Richard?’ I asked as we watched the two dogs racing and chasing each other in amongst the trees.

  ‘I’ve not heard anything for a couple of hours.’ Tom said, his smile fading fast. ‘They must be getting really frantic now, it’s going to be dark in half an hour or so.’

  ‘I feel so helpless. I feel like I should be doing something but don’t know what.’ I told him.

  ‘Exactly how I feel,’ the large man sympathised. ‘We could start our own search for him here in the woods with our expert tracker dogs.’ he suggested tongue in cheek. We shared a smile at the idea of Barney and Herman as anything other than pampered pets but then, without a word being spoken between us, we both began to walk in opposite directions into the distance and call ‘Richard……..Richard.’

  When darkness forced us to stop; we slowly made our way back to the car park in silence.

  Before we went our separate ways Tom rang Chris for an update. Although I couldn’t hear every word being spoken I could tell from his tone and facial expression that Richard was still missing.

  Returning his mobile phone to his jacket pocket Tom turned to me; ‘No news as yet,’ he sighed. ‘They are both very distressed now. I think I will go around there when I have taken Herman home.’ I felt that I would like to do the same but didn’t really feel it was my place to do that. ‘Please will you ring me as soon as anything happens?’ For the second time that day I broke my self-imposed golden rule and gave out my personal mobile number.

  I finally fell into a disturbed sleep where I dreamt that I was trying to rescue Barney; he was trapped at the bottom of a deep well and he was whimpering and crying in a way that broke my heart. I couldn’t reach him – I found a piece of gnarled old rope on the ground nearby but it was far too short. And then I saw the blood starting to fill up the well – Barney was seriously injured and I couldn’t do a thing to help him. Panic filled me and I was desperately trying to think who to ring for help but I didn’t have anyone.

  Richard

  At first I think I will go to see Granny Norris. She is Mum’s mum and she is soft and gives the most amazing cuddles and I want her to cuddle me and tell me she would make everything better like she used to do when I was little and fell off my bike.

  It’s a long way to walk but I know the way from the car when Dad drives us there so I can walk that way. I walk for ages, along pavements and across roads. I see some things I know, like the petrol station where Dad usually fills up on the way to Granny’s and the shop on a corner that always has loads of stuff for sale piled up on the pavement outside. I always wanted to get out of the car and look at the stuff but Dad always said no. So I go and looked at it now. From the car it always looked really interesting, lots of different colours and shapes. Close up it is just boring gardening stuff. I am having a good look, just in case something interesting is hiding there, when the shop man comes out and tells me to move away if I’m not going to buy anything.

  So then I carry on walking and I don’t pass anywhere else that I know

  I am in a street with lots of old houses, tall houses but not very wide, and they are all lined up together with no gaps, like the kids in the playground after the bell has gone. There are lots of parked cars in the road ‘cos none of these houses have garages or even drives. They are too small for that. They stretch on forever and when I get to the end there is another street just like it going across the top. Dad doesn’t drive along these streets, I know that, but I have no idea how to get back onto his route.

  I decide to turn right and walked along that street, the only thing different here is that these houses have tiny, I mean tiny, front gardens.

  At the end of the road I can see some green, like lots of grass; so I just kept heading towards it even though my legs are aching and I am getting hungry.

  There are tall green railings around the grass and I am hoping that it is a park.

  It is, a big park and the gates are wide open. I go through the gates and find a bench to sit on just inside. Mum has put crisps and an apple in my school bag and a carton of orange squash so I have a picnic.

  It’s a nice park, it has a football field marked out with goals and everything, and it has a big lake and a sand pit. I wish it was nearer to our house so I could come here a lot.

  There is no one playing football though ‘cos all the kids are at school, there is just a fat lady pushing a buggy with a baby in it who has chocolate all around her mouth. I wish I had a little sister or brother, I would teach them things and look after them and never let anybody bully them at school. Mum says there wouldn’t be any brothers or sisters and she looks a bit sad then but then she smiles and tickles me and says that’s good, ‘cos then she can just be mine and have me all to herself. I like that idea but I still wish I had a brother or sister.

  I walk around the lake – it’s massive and there are swans on it. You have to be careful with swans, Dad says, ‘cos they can get nasty and bite you. The water is a bit dirty at the edges though, people have been throwing rubbish in it. I fish out a couple of empty crisp packets and a tennis ball. I put the crisp packets in the bin and throw the ball across the grass. It goes a long way ‘cos I am really good at throwing.

  I sit down on the grass and I decide I won’t go to Granny’s after all, I will just stay in the park till school ends then go home, and Mum and Dad wouldn’t even know I haven’t been to school.

  I play on the swings for a bit but that gets boring so I walk
off into the trees to find treasure. I find a marble and a piece of yellow wire. I put them into my school bag. Then a big brown dog comes sniffing in the trees. I like dogs and Dad said we might be able to have one when I am old enough to take it for walks by myself. This one is really big so I come away from it, just in case.

  I have been in the park for ages, so I think it is probably time to go back home ‘cos school must be finishing soon. And that’s when I know I am lost.

  I can’t find the right road when I come out of the park – I think I have, but it isn’t and I am going round and round the streets and keep coming back to the park gates. I get scared then.

  And then it starts to get a bit dark and my tummy is rumbling ‘cos I am hungry ‘cos I haven’t had any lunch, only that packet of crisps hours ago.

  I think I will be there forever and nobody knows where I am so they can’t come and get me and I have no money or anything. I don’t know what to do and I wish I was back at home and just coming out of school after all.

  And then I cry, big fat tears, and I don’t even care that I am crying in the street.

  ‘Are you ok son?’ The man stops next to me. He is smoking and it smells awful. He is wearing a parka and he has big boots on and a black tattoo on his neck. I want him to help me but everyone says don’t talk to strangers and he looks strange to me. I cry even more then.

  ‘Are you hurt?’ he asks me.

  I shake my head.

  ‘Are you lost,’ he asks.

  I nod and then get really frightened, ‘cos if he knows I am lost he might take me away and kill me.

  Then he puts his hand in his pocket and I think he is going to get a gun or a knife. I try to run away but he puts his hand on my shoulder and holds me still.

  It isn’t a gun, it’s a mobile.

  ‘Do you know your phone number at home?’

  I tell him and he punches the numbers in as I say them.

  His name is Dave and he stays with me till Mum and Dad get there. He is telling me about when he ran away when he was a kid and he is making me laugh. He keeps smoking though but after a bit I don’t mind it so much.

  Mum’s face is all red and her eyes are as big as footballs so I know she has been crying, a lot. Dad’s cheeks have sort of gone in a bit and his face is really white. I feel bad then ‘cos I must have really upset them.

  They don’t shout at me though, they just keep hugging me and Dad is doing a funny sort of laugh. He tries to give Dave some money but Dave won’t have it, so Mum gives him a kiss even though he smells of fags.

  Mum sits in the back of the car with me and keeps her arm around me all the way home. When we get in she cooks me egg and chips and Dad has a cheese and onion sandwich and a glass of whisky.

  We all just keep smiling at each other and I feel really happy again.

  Rae

  A bright stream of sunlight burst through the chink in the bedroom curtains and woke me from my disturbed sleep. Peering through my half closed eyes I reached out for my mobile phone and heaved a massive sigh of relief when I saw the text message from Tom to tell me that Richard was home and unhurt.

  Resting my head back on the pillow I had a flashback to my nightmare about Barney and the well and the rope and how helpless I had felt.

  ‘I need strong black coffee,” I said out loud, “and thank God it’s Saturday.’

  Throwing a couple of slices of bread into the toaster I stood at the open doorway, drinking coffee while Barney went into the garden for his morning pee. I wondered what was happening in the Bank’s house this morning. Tom had said Richard was ok but where on earth had he been?

  Right on cue my mobile buzzed and a smile crept its way across my face as I read the text message: “Dear Barney, would you like to come for a walk with me this afternoon and we can have great fun whilst our owners catch up on the story of Richard? Love from Herman.”

  “Dear Herman” I texted, “I would like that. How does 2.30 on the car park at the woods sound? From your pal, Barney”

  As we walked Tom filled me in on the details he knew about Richard’s adventure.

  ‘I’m so glad he’s safe,” I said when Tom had finished his tale. ‘I think it’s more important than ever now that I meet with him and talk to school staff on Monday. He is obviously one very unhappy little boy…….what a pressure his father has put him under.”

  Tom scowled momentarily before he spoke, “Don’t judge Chris too harshly,” he said. ‘He has had a really tough time over the last year and his intentions are really good, just maybe a little misguided.’

  ‘Janet told me that Chris has been ill and I can see that that will affect his thinking. Hopefully now he will begin to change his approach and make things easier for Richard at school.”

  We walked a little while longer in silence. I wanted to ask Chris about the personal responsibility thing and how to do it but I couldn’t think how to begin without having to tell him why I needed to know. And before I knew it we were back at the car park and it was too late.

  “Thank you for keeping me informed Tom” I said.

  ‘No problem at all. Hey, I always bring a flask of hot coffee in my car when I walk at this time of year, would you like a cup before you leave?’

  A moment of sheer panic passed through me, I couldn’t explain why but I felt the need to get away, ‘No thanks, I really need to get back and catch up on some jobs,’ I lied.

  Tom looked slightly embarrassed as he said “No problem, another time maybe.”

  “What is wrong with you Rae Simpson?” I asked myself as I drove back to face a late afternoon alone and with nothing at all to do. “He was only offering you coffee for god’s sake.”

  Richard

  I have never been in the staff room before; normally kids don’t go in there, but ‘cos I am with Rae, Mrs Wilkes said it was ok. There are massive chairs all along the walls and a big table in the middle with lots of papers and magazines on it. I keep trying to read what they are ‘cos I want to know what teachers read when they are not in the classroom reading our stuff.

  ‘I am really glad to see you safe and well Richard.’

  I don’t answer her, I’m not being rude, I just don’t know what to say.

  Sometimes Rae seems really nice and then sometimes she is horrible, making Dad angry and sounding like Mrs Genner. I have a quick look at her face to see if I can tell if she is going to be nice or nasty now. I haven’t noticed before but she has wrinkly bits round her eyes and one tooth that crosses over the one next to it. She is smiling at me.

  ‘I am really hoping that we can sort things out so that you start to feel much happier.’

  I have heard her say this before but nothing is any different, if anything it’s worse now.

  I look back at the magazines on the table, there is a “horrible histories” book peeping out from under the pile. I can’t see enough of the cover to see if it is one I have read or not.

  ‘Tom and I went looking for you in the woods with our dogs,’ she says.

  I am surprised, I didn’t know that, it feels nice that they would do that.

  ‘My dog is called Barney, and Tom’s dog is Herman. Have you met Herman?’

  I shake my head. I want to know more, ‘cos I really like dogs, but I also really want to pick up that book. I have another go at trying to read the bit of cover that I can see.

  ‘It must have been really scary out there that day,’ Rae says. ‘Especially when it got dark. I think you must be braver than me, I would have been terrified.’

  She is trying to be nice to me, I want her to be nice to me but then Dad won’t like it if I like her. I don’t know what to say.

  ‘Richard, I know that I was a bit hard on you last time we met but I really do want to help you. I can see now that you have been very unhappy at school and, if you let me, I will try to make things better for
you.’

  And then, before I can stop myself, I am crying again. I have cried a lot lately.

  ‘It was horrible, it is horrible and I don’t think you can help me anyway. I just wanted to get away from everything and let everybody be happy again.’

  I look around for a tissue but can’t see one so I have to wipe my nose on my sleeve.

  Rae comes and sits next to me then. When she speaks her voice is really soft, like Mum’s is when I cry.

  ‘No one wants you to go away Richard and it didn’t make anyone happier did it? Everyone just wants you to be happy again. What I need to know is what we need to do to make that happen?’

  ‘I just want things to be normal,’ I say. ‘I want to go to school and play with my mates and I want my Dad to not be angry with Mrs Wilkes. And I want to be able to talk with my spirit friends.’

  ‘Well Richard,’ she says, ‘I believe that last thing is something Tom will be talking to you about. How about if I talk to you about school and he talks to you about the other stuff?’ she asks. ‘That way you have two people helping you not just one.’

  I still don’t see how talking to them can help but it is nice to have people not shouting at me or blaming me so I say yes.

  Rae

  I don’t think I will ever forget how Richard’s small face crumpled when he said: ‘It was horrible, it is horrible and I don’t think you can help me anyway. I just wanted to get away from everything and let everybody be happy again.’ He was crying and wiping his nose on his sleeve, obviously embarrassed by his outburst but too upset to be able to stop it. Whatever was going on here it was far too much for this little kid to handle and I felt a new rush of anger towards his parents for thinking it was ok.