I Hear You Calling Read online

  Rae

  Everything was grey, not one grey but many shades, from the palest hint to the darkest slate, mingling together to form a large grey canvas. It enveloped me, a big soft duvet that stretched for as far as I could see. I was floating, wrapped in a grey duvet in a soft grey world. Occasionally I could hear muffled voices in the distance but they were too far away to bother me. No pain, no worries, just a soft bed of tranquillity. It was peaceful and so was I.

  I could have stayed there, I felt no desire to change a thing, but then the voices got a bit closer and a bit clearer and, as I watched from the safety of my duvet cocoon, a parting appeared in the mist surrounding me and it grew and grew until it was big enough for me to float through.

  There was colour through there. I could see flashes of green and blue and the smell of pine drifted through the hole in the mist and set my nostrils tingling. The greyness began to evaporate quickly then until it was just lingering around the outside edges of the new scene, like a living, swirling frame surrounding a landscape picture.

  For as far as I could see the ground was blanketed in lush grass with scatterings of wild flower clusters; flowers of every hue imaginable in thick luscious leaves. In the distance the tall pine trees stood together like a battalion, and as I registered that thought I instinctively turned my head to the right and was not at all surprised to see the old castle on the hill.

  A wave of familiarity flooded me and I felt like I had come home.

  I walked slowly around the castle, touching its cold stones and feeling more and more excited with every step I took. I knew these cobbled pathways that I was walking upon, and I knew and loved this old building. I tried desperately to pull back distant memories but it was too hard. I had no idea who I was or what this place was called but one thing I did feel sure of, I lived here.

  I lived here in this old castle and one of the greatest joys of my life here was riding my horse through the forest of tall pine trees to the clearing with the lake on the other side.

  And then I reached the front of the castle with its huge wooden doors and massive hinges. Placing my hands upon the left door I pushed with all of my strength and smiled in warm recognition as the door slowly creaked open.

  Cair Paravel. It came to me, just like that. The castle was called Cair Paravel.

  And the tears that flooded my face were tears of deep joy.

  Jen

  Tom and Pam came to the hospital early that evening, they wanted me to go home and get some rest and let them sit with Rae. There was no way I was leaving till I had to though, so the three of us sat around the bed and took it in turns to look at Rae’s swollen face and shake our heads in disbelief.

  ‘I didn’t even know she had been married,’ Pam said, as if the fault lay with her.

  ‘She wanted to leave it all behind her,’ I told her. ‘Coming to Eadstone was supposed to be her fresh start.’

  ‘That explains why she never talked about her past.’

  ‘I never really liked Jim, he was too smarmy, if you know what I mean? All charm and smiles and no depth. But Rae couldn’t see that to begin with. She was in love with the picture he painted and by the time she saw the real scene it was too late.’

  ‘Happens too often, sadly,’ Tom sympathised.

  ‘As kids we were always together; our parents were great, don’t get me wrong, but they were career people and didn’t have time to do the little things that make a childhood. We used to escape into Enid Blyton and C.S Lewis stories. I think that Jim charmed her into thinking she could have a proper family life with him. But then he wanted to keep her all to himself, he didn’t want children, wouldn’t even let her have a dog or a cat. He changed her big time. She used to be the warmest, most open person but over the years she got quiet and sort of closed in and scared looking.’

  Tears were not far from flowing so I pulled myself together quickly, none of this was going to help Rae.

  ‘Thanks for walking Barney for me,’ I smiled a watery smile at Tom.

  ‘Is there any news of the missing boy?’ I asked them both.

  ‘None at all. The story is going to the national press now as there has been nothing from the local efforts.’

  ‘Can’t you get help from the “other side” of life?’ My question was only slightly tongue in cheek. I was fascinated to know more about this stuff.

  ‘People are trying, but no one has picked anything definite up as yet.’

  ‘His poor mother must be going mad.’

  Tom nodded and there was real sadness on his face. I knew that Rae had often questioned his too good to be true persona but, having not long met him, I was convinced that he was genuine.

  ‘I have been spending a little time with her when I can,’ Pam said. ‘But it’s hard to know what to say or do with her. With every hour that passes she gets harder to reach, poor soul.’

  ‘The police are hopeful that the national appeal may produce results, so let’s stay as positive as we can right now,’ Tom suggested.

  ‘He’ll probably be home safe very soon now,’ I chipped in, trying to keep in with his upbeat attempt. ‘And Rae will be waking up and demanding chocolate.’

  I was doing a lot of that right then, forcing an upbeat attitude I mean. I figured that, if Rae could somehow hear what was going on around her, the last thing she needed was for it to be maudlin and depressing. So I kept all my tears and wailing for when I was back at her house. Poor Barney, sometimes he would look at me as if he was trying to work out how come I sprang so many leaks, but then he would come over to me and try to help by mopping up the falling tears with his big soft tongue. Never a dog lover myself I was starting to fall under his spell and could see why my sister was so attached to the big brute.

  Richard

  Dad is really angry with me.

  While he is still asleep I creep over to his bag and take his mobile phone. My plan is to walk to the edge of the wood to get a signal and ring Mum. I grab the phone and have just started to walk away with it when he wakes up and catches me.

  ‘What have you got there?’

  ‘Nothing.’ I shove the phone up my sleeve.

  He moves really quick, so quick I don’t have time to get away. He holds my arm really tight and pulls the phone from my sleeve with his other hand.

  ‘Expensive piece of nothing,’ he says, looking at the I phone.

  ‘I was just going to see if I could get a signal.’

  ‘Will you stop going on about a bloody signal?’

  ‘I just wanted to tell Mum where we are ‘cos she’ll never find us here.’

  ‘And I am sick of hearing about your mother. You are here with me and I will do better by you than she ever did.’

  I get scared then, I mean really scared. For the first time I think that maybe I will never see my mum again.

  ‘I want to go home now. Please Dad, can we go home and I promise I’ll do the things you want me to do?’

  I think that is a good thing to say, it will make him happy and then we’ll go home and it will be ok.

  Instead it makes him even madder.

  ‘Just get outa’ my sight for a wee while,’ he shouts at me. ‘Go and get some firewood.’

  I sit down in the middle of a huge group of tall trees and cry. I think about running away but I have no idea where I am or where to go.

  Where is Solly when I need him? I haven’t heard from him all the time we have been away.

  I cry so much I get really tired and drippy and then I find myself back in my place.

  The sun is making the lake look like a rainbow of glass, I can see red and blue and gold bouncing off the water. I decide to float over the trees and see if the castle is still there.

  It’s amazing to float over the top of tall trees, you look down and they look like a big green, soft carpet but you know that they are not, they are really sp
indly and hard and it would hurt a lot if you fell amongst them. It’s weird, but a nice weird.

  And there is the castle.

  It isn’t the biggest castle I have ever seen when I get close up to it but it looks very old. I stand in front of the big wooden door; it has massive hinges and lots of black knobbly bits on it. And then I feel someone come up behind me. My heart starts to race really fast and I am scared to turn round.

  ‘Hello boy child.’

  It’s a girl’s voice, soft and friendly sounding, but when I spin round I can’t see her face. She is just an outline of a person, a bit like a drawing that hasn’t been finished. People who are newly passed to the spirit world often look like this to me but she doesn’t feel like any spirit I have met before.

  ‘What are you?’ I whisper.

  ‘I am a princess and I live in this castle. What are you?’

  ‘I’m a boy, just a boy.’

  ‘I am very pleased to meet you, Justaboy. Would you like to become one of my knights?’

  ‘I haven’t got a sword or a shield or a horse.’

  She laughs and it’s like someone tinkling high notes on a piano.

  ‘I can get you all of those if you say yes.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘OK, Sir Justaboy, you are now a knight.’

  She looks over my shoulder back towards the castle and, when I turn to see what she was looking at there are two white ponies.

  Then suddenly it’s all gone, the castle, the princess, and the ponies, just gone. I am back at the lake and in the distance I can hear Dad shouting my name.

  ‘Have you got firewood?’ He comes walking through the trees and he doesn’t look so angry any more.

  Later Dad leaves me at the camp fire and drives out of the woods to get us fish and chips, some chocolate, a can of coke for me and another bottle of whisky for him.

  ‘I tried ringing your mother,’ he tells me. ‘But the battery is flat on the phone and I haven’t got a charger with me. Sorry son. We’ll try calling from a phone box soon.’

  Dad seems happy again and I think how stupid I have been to be so scared earlier. Of course Mum will be coming. I had just made Dad angry by stealing his phone.

  We have a feast and then we lie under our blankets and look at the stars.

  ‘How long are we staying here Dad?’

  ‘Dunno Son, why – are you not liking it?’

  ‘Yea, it’s good. I just wondered.’ I don’t want to make him angry again.

  ‘Maybe another couple of days,’ Dad’s voice comes out of the darkness.

  ‘I think we might be told to move on very soon. We will see what comes through in my mediation tomorrow.’

  ‘OK Dad,’ I say.

  “Please spirits, tell Dad it’s time to go home now.” I pray.

  Jen

  Two police officers came to the hospital to see how Rae was doing.

  ‘No change,’ I had to tell them.

  The tall one with the squint looked very solemn at the news.

  ‘Dr Killarney says it’s too early to give up hope,’ I said quickly. ‘He says that her vital signs are good actually.’

  The shorter one with the bandy legs smiled at me sympathetically. It was as if they didn’t believe that Rae would recover.

  ‘She’s a strong woman, she’ll be back.’ I firmly believed it, refusing even for a second to imagine life without her. ‘Have you found Jim yet?’

  They looked at each other as if considering what they should say and then tall squinty one spoke.

  ‘We have found where he was. He was lodging in a boarding house, just two streets away from your sister would you believe?’

  No wonder he could keep turning up as often as he had.

  ‘The people there say they haven’t seen him since the night of the incident.’ Short Bandy One continued the story: ‘We have searched the room and come up with some interesting stuff though, like a toy dog with one ear cut off and a diary of your sister’s movements over the last few weeks.’

  ‘Do you have any idea where he might have bolted to?’ Tall Squinty asked me.

  I couldn’t think of any friends that he might have, if he did have friends or family I had never met them. ‘I know he came from Preston originally,’ was as helpful as I could be.

  They seemed satisfied with that, promised to keep in touch and left the room.

  ‘What do you think of that then Rae?’ I asked her. ‘That smarmy bastard was just two streets away from you all the time. Mark is coming tomorrow,’ I told her. ‘He’s going to stay with me for a couple of days. And don’t you go worrying about Barney, we are great pals now and Tom is walking him every day for you. He does miss you though, so hurry up and come back to us as quick as you can. Oh, and by the way, your oven was filthy you dirty tart, it took me nearly two hours last night to clean it. I was calling you every name under the sun I can tell you.’

  She just lay there, eyes closed, perfectly still. The purple bruises were going a bit yellow now. The arm that he had broken was lying in plaster, lifeless at her side. And that bloody machine just kept on bleeping.

  Rae

  The boy came again. I was walking towards the stable block and he just appeared in front of me.

  ‘Hello Sir Justaboy, where did you go off to so quickly last time?’

  ‘My Dad was calling me. I had to go.’

  ‘Well, it’s nice to see you again. I’m glad you came back. I was just going to take a ride through the forest. Do you want to come? Can you ride?’

  ‘I’ve been on a donkey at Blackpool.’

  I had no idea what or where Blackpool might be but if the boy could ride a donkey then he must know the basics.

  ‘Come and help me tack up the ponies.’

  I led him round to the stable block at the back of the castle, where there just happened to be two white ponies.

  The boy really had a good seat but little idea of the commands so we spent some time going over the basics before heading towards the forest.

  We had been riding for a short while; he had been silent, concentrating hard on all I had taught him.

  ‘I think maybe you’re a natural rider,’ I told him.

  He smiled, a smile that lit his whole face up.

  ‘Can I have a look inside the castle after this?’ he asked.

  ‘Of course, but first lets trot. Come on Sir Justaboy, I’ll race you back to the castle.’

  We rode out of the forest and across the land with our laughter echoing in the breeze. The boy’s face was flushed and aglow with happiness and his bright eyes were sparkling, just like I knew mine were too.

  He stopped laughing when we stepped inside the great hallway of Cair Paravel. Slowly he made his way across the marble floor to the four thrones that sat at the head of the chamber. Reaching out, he stroked the lion’s head engraved into the backrest of the end throne.

  ‘That one’s mine. The next one is Susan’s, then Peters and Edmunds is the one on the other end,’ I told him without even thinking about what I was saying.

  ‘Can I sit in one?’

  I nodded and he climbed up onto my throne and sat down, his legs not quite reaching the floor.

  Suddenly his face crumpled and a couple of tears fell from his eyes.

  ‘I wish my Mum could see this,’ he said. And then he was crying a lot.

  ‘I’m on a kind of holiday with my Dad,’ he told me. ‘But I’ve had enough now and I want to go home and see my Mum but Dad says not yet.’

  ‘I’m sorry you’re sad,’ I told him. ‘I know what will cheer you up.’

  And I lead him across the hallway to the large oak cabinet where all of the swords lived. His eyes opened really wide and the tears vanished.

  ‘Pick one.’

  He wisely chose a large dagger rather than a f
ull sized sword. The blade glinted and the ruby beset hilt sparkled in his hand. The second he picked it up he looked taller and as he lifted it to the ceiling he seemed stronger.

  ‘I feel like a real knight.’

  ‘And so you are, you are Sir Justaboy of Cair Paravel,’ I told him. ‘And once a knight of Narnia, always a knight of Narnia. That means you can always come back here, whenever you need to.’

  ‘What does Narnia mean?’

  I hadn’t even realised what I had said, it just came out so naturally. I had to really think then, Narnia, so familiar a word, what did it mean?

  ‘I think it means this place… I think so. I think this place is called Narnia.’

  ‘You don’t sound sure Princess.’

  I shook my head savagely, damn this stupid brain, why wouldn’t it work properly?

  The boy had moved on, he was making swift stabbing movements with his dagger and then arcing it into the air as if in duel, his tears were forgotten and he was having a great time.

  I smiled as I watched him. It was good to see him enjoying himself but his eyes still showed great sadness. For a second I had a thought that I needed to help him in some way but then it was gone and I couldn’t get it back again.

  Jen

  She smiled. I didn’t imagine it, I know I didn’t. She smiled a real smile.

  The nurse who ran in when I shouted rushed to the bed and checked all the stuff they have been constantly checking. Then she turned a sympathetic face to me and said, ‘Sometimes that happens. Automatic muscle movement. Try not to build your hopes up too high.’

  That wasn’t an automatic muscle thingy, I know Rae’s smile when I see it and that was definitely Rae’s happy smile.

  Taking hold of her right hand I leaned over the bed and whispered in her ear.