I Hear You Calling Page 15

  ‘Well, well, well.’ I was too surprised to say anything more sensible.

  ‘And it’s all down to you. If you hadn’t insisted on having that meeting here we probably wouldn’t have started speaking again.’

  I remembered then how slightly awkward they had been that day, and how Pam had asked if Tom really needed to be at the meeting at all.

  ‘So, we would like to take you out for a meal to thank you,’ and she positively beamed as she made this offer.

  ‘Not necessary,’ I answered quickly. ‘I didn’t even know I was playing Cupid. Anyway you two must have so much to catch up you don’t want a gooseberry tagging along.’

  Her eyes softened like pools of dark brown water. ‘We’ve already done our catching up. And we really want to do this; please say yes, Rae.’

  Talk about being put on the spot – what else could I do?

  ‘Yes.’

  …………..

  The woods were in full bloom. Huge rhododendron bushes in shades of red and purple with the most luscious green leaves surrounded the path I was walked along. The sun was fading a little but it had been very warm all day and it was good to be wearing a tee-shirt rather than a thick sweater.

  ‘Barney, you will not believe the last couple of days. It seems like I have become a fixer without even knowing it.’

  He wasn’t easily impressed that dog, he just snorted at me and ran off into the bushes.

  …………….

  It was Saturday afternoon and I had headed into the florist to buy some flowers to give to Pam at the meal tonight. It seemed only fair if they were insisting on paying for my meal.

  I didn’t really know what she liked; my own fault I knew, I had kept her at arm’s length for two years. In the end I decided on white roses, everybody loves roses don’t they?

  ‘I’ll get those.’ Jim appeared at my side at the cash desk.

  ‘You will not, they’re not even for me.’

  He raised his eyebrows at that. ‘Swinging the other way are we now?’

  I ignored his crass remark and paid for the flowers.

  He followed me out of the shop.

  ‘I really need to talk to you, seriously.’

  ‘That’s a shame then Jim, ‘cos I have nothing to say to you.’

  I was very proud of that response. Hey, I was getting brave after all.

  He grabbed my arm then, almost causing me to drop the huge bunch of roses.

  ‘Don’t do this to me. You know we need each other, we’ve had some fabulous times in the past and we can again.’

  His voice was soft and low, a caress that I always loved. He was right, we had had some fabulous times and we had laughed until we almost cried. But then, I really had cried. A lot. At least three whole rivers of tears.

  ‘Sorry Jim. It really is too late for this. I just don’t want you in my life anymore.’

  I should have felt so proud and strong, yet as I watched him turn away and walk down the street with his head hanging down like a small dejected child, I felt an incredible sadness.

  …………………

  I ordered a taxi so that I could have a drink or two with the meal.

  The Italian restaurant that they had chosen was recently opened and buzzing with atmosphere. White marble statues towered over us as we were seated at a corner table surrounded by large leafy green plants.

  The happy couple sat opposite me and they both looked so contented and relaxed that I couldn’t regret being there. The food was delicious and, I suspected, expensive, so I insisted on at least being allowed to pay for the wine.

  Tom covered the top of his glass as the waiter leaned over to pour, ‘Not for me.’

  ‘Sorry Tom, would you rather have something else?’

  ‘I don’t drink anymore.’

  ‘Ah, Spiritualism is tee-total then?’

  He flushed. ‘No, I had issues with alcohol after my wife died.’

  ‘Sorry Tom. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.’

  ‘You didn’t, I did,’ he smiled at me. ‘Personal responsibility, remember?’

  Memories of my earlier exchange with Jim came flooding back to me then, I chased them away quickly by asking Pam how long she had been working for the local authority. Yes, it really had taken me two years to getting around to asking her question.

  By ten o’clock we were all absolutely stuffed full and starting to yawn. It had been a very pleasant evening and I had even surprised myself by telling them a little about my sister Jen and how close we had been when we both lived in London. I think I might even have told them that I missed her a lot and how we spoke on the phone whenever we could, but by then I had had too much wine to be sure.

  ‘Don’t get a taxi home,’ Tom told me, as he called for the bill. ‘I’ll drop you off on our way back.’

  Pam sat in the front passenger seat of the 4x4, clutching her roses and sighing happily all the way to my house.

  ‘Coffee?’ I felt obliged to offer as I got out of the car.

  I was quite relieved when they said they were too tired, ‘cos I certainly was.

  ‘It’s been lovely,’ I told them both, and meant it. ‘Thank you so much.’

  And I walked up the pathway to my front door feeling happy, full and tired, and totally oblivious of what the next episode in this soap opera had in store for me.

  ‘I love you Barney,’ I slurred to the huge hairy canine, as I settled him into his bed for the night. ‘Sleep well darling, see you in the morning.’

  He gave one thump of his tail and obediently closed his eyes.

  I groaned into the bathroom mirror at the lines beginning to appear around my eyes. Mum always used to say that hers weren’t wrinkles they were laughter lines. I hadn’t done a lot of laughing over the last few years so I couldn’t use that excuse. I had to face the fact that very soon I would be forty years old.

  Taking clean pyjamas from the airing cupboard on the landing I thought about how much I had enjoyed myself and I decided that I would invite Pam and Tom over here for dinner in the next couple of weeks. I made an amazing steak Dianne that I felt sure they would enjoy. I was lost in trying to recall all the ingredients that I would need to buy in as I walked into my bedroom.

  ‘You took your time.’

  The voice from the corner of the bedroom made me leap into the air and I screamed.

  ‘Calm down, it’s me,’ Jim said.

  My heart was still pounding like Red Rum’s hooves at a grand national.

  ‘How the hell did you get in here?’

  ‘You didn’t lock the back door when you took the dog out for a pee, you silly girl.’

  He sounded so smug that I wanted to punch him for scaring me so badly.

  ‘Well you need to leave, now.’

  ‘Not just yet.’ He crossed the room and lay down on top of my beautiful Laura Ashley bedspread that had cost me almost a week’s salary.

  ‘Come here and talk to me.’ He patted the duvet in invitation.

  ‘I told you Jim, we have nothing to say to each other.’

  My heart was calming down a little now but I still felt shaky.

  ‘Rae, darling,’ he sat up and looked at me, ‘please don’t be like this. I just want to talk to you and sort things out for once and for all.’

  “It is already sorted Jim” I told him. ‘You just won’t accept it. That’s why I had to move here in the first place, remember?’

  ‘But I found you.’ he said. ‘I will always do whatever it takes to get to you.’

  ‘Jim, please leave. I am too tired for this.’

  ‘Been shagging all night have you? I saw “lover boy” drop you off just now.’

  ‘I don’t have to tell you what I do any more.’ I sighed as I spoke.

  And then Jim leapt up from the bed so suddenly
I never saw it coming.

  Taking hold of both of my arms he put so much pressure on them that I could almost feel the bruises forming. I cried out and Barney began to bark from downstairs.

  ‘Shut that fucking dog up or else I’ll kill him.’

  Suddenly I believed he would. ‘Barney, quiet.’ Obedient as always the dog fell to silence.

  ‘I love you Rae.’ His voice was quiet but his grip on my arms was still very firm.

  ‘Your love is poison,’ I felt brave enough to tell him. ‘You are not good for me Jim and that’s why we divorced. It wasn’t easy for me to do, I waited far too long to do it, but I did it. Now you have to accept that and leave me alone.’

  ‘You loved me once, do you remember? Do you remember those nights we spent just talking and loving each other and talking and then loving each other some more?’

  ‘I’m not saying it was never good. But I also remember the bad times.’

  ‘Remember the good times Rae,’ he whispered, moving his face very close to mine.

  I didn’t even think, I just automatically moved in towards him, seduced by the softness of his voice and the promise in his eyes.

  ‘Good girl,’ he mouthed in my ear. ‘I always knew you wanted me really.’

  And then the anger flooded through me, hot as mercury and, summoning all of my strength, I used both arms to push against his chest and move him away. Then I dashed for the door.

  The next thing I knew a vivid pain was shooting through my head and I was being pulled backwards by my hair.

  ‘Don’t ever do that to me again,’ he shouted, and the room went spinning as he flung me down onto the bed.

  From downstairs came the sound of Barney anxiously barking again.

  ‘Quiet Barney,’ I ordered quickly. My voice was shaking.

  “You sound scared Rae. Don’t be scared of me darling.’

  He lay down beside me and his hand reached out to stroke my breast through my pyjama top.

  “He’s going to rape me,” I thought and a furious tiger possessed me and I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I threw myself at him, a ball of fury with arms and legs lashing out in all directions. I was so fired up that it took me a moment to register the searing pain as he grabbed my flailing arm and twisted it sharply behind my back, making me fall off the bed and onto my knees on the floor.

  ‘If that’s what you like these days that’s what we can do.’ As I lowered my head to try to avoid his punches I saw the angry face of a monster. I didn’t recognise this Jim at all. The pain from my arm seemed to be spreading throughout my body and panic was stopping me from thinking. Then, without warning, a burst of hot vomit rose in my throat and spilled out, the remains of that lovely meal and wine, all over his shiny shoes. The shock of it made him immobile for a moment as he stared down at the spreading mess on his feet.

  I had no idea where the strength came from but I managed to pull myself to a standing position and rush out of the bedroom door onto the landing. My one thought now was to escape, I was going to get outside and lock myself in the car.

  I was half way down the stairs before he caught up with me, I felt the whole force of his body through his foot as he kicked into my back and pushed me down.

  My head hit the wall at the foot of the stairs and the world went black.

  Tom

  It had been a really nice evening, the food was excellent and after a while Rae seemed to relax and become more human. Probably the wine helped but it was good to see something of the woman underneath the mask. Pam couldn’t get over it; we went back to hers for coffee after we dropped Rae off and we talked for ages. We hadn’t stopped talking for the last few weeks, I had forgotten how compatible we always were.

  It was when I got back into the car to go home that I saw Rae’s handbag still sitting on the back seat. I thought she would probably be in bed by now but decided to drive back past her house to see if there were any lights on. I know how a woman panics if she thinks she has lost her handbag. I know that’s sexist but I am so glad that I had that thought because when I pulled up outside of Rae’s cottage I saw that the front door was wide open and everything in me tensed. Something was wrong – I just knew it.

  She was lying at the foot of the stairs, crumpled up with her head against the wall and Barney was lying next to her whimpering in distress. Her blonde hair was stiff with blood and there was a strong smell of vomit around her.

  For a moment I thought she was dead but then I found a very faint pulse and that’s also when I saw that her arm was twisted out of shape and bruises were forming on her face and neck. This wasn’t just a fall; she had obviously been beaten.

  I went with her in the ambulance but she didn’t regain consciousness, not even when the paramedics lifted her onto the stretcher and the cold night air hit us as we went outside.

  Jen

  I wanted to kill Jim, I mean really kill him. Stab him with a big bladed knife and watch him bleed to death, and then laugh in his miserable face as he gasped for his last breath.

  My sister was lying in a coma in the hospital and, for the first time in our lives, I couldn’t help her at all. Well, apart from moving into her house and looking after her dog and visiting her at the hospital that is.

  I nearly died of shock myself when I got the call from the police on Sunday morning. Thank god that Rae is a dozy bugger when she’s pissed. She left her bag in the back of Tom Little’s car and he went round to take it back to her and found her – lying in the hall, unconscious.

  I told the police all about Jim and how he’d been stalking her and they started looking for him straight away.

  Rae’s face was bruised black and blue and swollen so much it was hard to see it was her. Her left arm was plastered pretty well all the way up. There was a drip feeding in through her unbroken arm, tubes were going into her nose and the big white bleeping machine monitoring her outputs made the whole thing look like a scene from Casualty.

  I sat by her bedside for as long as the hospital staff would allow me to each day, just talking to her and trying to bring her back. I told her stupid stuff, like what the weather was doing and little stories about people I had seen in and about the hospital. But it wasn’t easy to keep talking, even for a chatterbox like me.

  I had heard about people in comas being brought out of them by hearing their favourite music or poems, so I thought I would give Rae a little reminder of something we had loved to see if it would help her.

  C.S Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe had been our favourite story when we were kids; not only had we read the book many times over but most of our make-believe games had been set in Narnia. As the eldest I was always Susan and Rae was Lucy. We didn’t have a Peter or Edmund, there being no boys in our lives at that time, so we always pretended that they had gone off on hunting expeditions.

  Taking a very battered book out of my bag I started to read.

  “Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy. This story is about something that happened to them when were sent away from London during the war because of the air-raids…..”

  I closed the book at the end of chapter two and leaned back in the chair with a weary sigh. I had hoped that Rae would suddenly join in with the well-loved narrative or at least open her eyes and smile, but nothing as yet. My eyes felt sore so I closed them and leaned back against the padded headrest of the chair and within seconds I was sleeping.

  The nurse coming in to check on Rae’s SATS woke me with a start.

  ‘Any sign of improvement?’

  She shook her head sadly. The doctor had told me earlier that they could offer no prediction of the outcome for Rae. It really was just a case of wait and see. What would I do if she didn’t come back?

  ‘Get a bloody grip,’ I told myself and opening the book and clearing my throat, I read some more.

 
…………….

  ‘How is she doing?’ Mark asked when he rang me that night.

  His voice was the key to my floodgates– I burst into noisy sobs.

  ‘You shouldn’t have to do this on your own. I’ll try and get some time off and come to you.’

  ‘If you can.’ Mark’s work is highly pressured and also highly paid so I didn’t want him to risk his job. But it certainly would help to have someone to share this with. ‘Pam and Tom are going to share some of the visiting they said. But I want to be there in case she wakes up.’

  ‘When she wakes up,’ my gorgeous man corrected me.

  Richard

  Dad looks like a grizzly bear. He has a beard and a moustache and his hair is a real mess. I think we both probably smell a bit ‘cos we haven’t had a shower since we left the caravan. We have been in the woods for about three days I think. Dad has stopped being happy and we have to start meditating again he says. He has stopped talking much and when he does talk he is mumbling and I have to listen really hard to hear him.

  We still haven’t left the woods so I can get a signal and ring Mum and I have stopped asking ‘cos I am scared of making him angry when he is acting so strange. I haven’t stopped thinking about it though.

  We sit down to meditate around the fire. I don’t meditate though – as usual I go off to my place.

  The sun is shining and I float up above the trees. But it feels different, like something has changed. It doesn’t feel so still, it feels like there is something going on that I can’t see. The lake is still calm but it just doesn’t feel right. And then I see it, way in the distance behind the trees. A castle. I am sure that had never been there before, but it is now. A big castle, and as I look at it I see a quick flash of someone walking past it. But then they are gone.